The Perfect Storm

Humans are wishful thinkers, I believe.  In particular, we all imagine there to be a perfect set of circumstances for specific scenarios that will help us achieve unprecedented results; the ideal working environment at the office to nail the bullet points for that important pitch meeting; the best set of meteorological conditions to run that marathon; the peace and quiet of an empty house in order to finish that screenplay/symphony/doctoral thesis.  Sadly, it’s all a myth, but that won’t stop us from dreaming, trying, or expecting.

I’ve more or less decided that I can’t write very well at home during the day.  Unemployment breathes heavily on me in the house, using up most of the available oxygen, and there are far too many pointless distractions which I relentlessly engage in.  No bueno.  I decided last night that I’d get up early and hit the library, doing a chore or two quickly before I left the house.  I picked out a rock-solid pair of pants and a favorite shirt, wanting to insure that my energy would be all positive as I’d be unencumbered by ill-fitting garments.  I packed my bag with snacks in case I got hungry; all the better to avoid quitting early and heading out for a cheeseburger or, heaven forbid, fried chicken, which would ruin the afternoon and the evening.  The computer was charged, the dog was walked, everything in place for a day of genius-level writing.  A quick iced tea to stay hydrated and I’d be on my…

I arrived at the library wearing an inferior pair of pants and shirt after soiling the clothes of choice with my tasty beverage.  Real smooth.  To make things even better, I exited the truck covered in Moon Pie crumbs, since I simply could not wait to hit the snacks, apparently.  As I settled in at one of the least crowded tables – the library was packed for some reason – I found myself surrounded by attractive people working and reading and looking devastatingly studious, and a crush of books on every topic known to man, leaning in close, desperately begging for attention.  4:30 PM.  Nice and early.  Just like I’d planned.

Yeah, this will work out just fine.  Heck, I might just breeze through the rest of the novel today!  Conditions could not be better.


4 responses to “The Perfect Storm

  1. I completely agree about the exhausting attempts at motivation while unemployed. Time and space are warped while one is jobless. I’d say, congrats for making it to the Library! That in its self is an achievement. Stay the course. The 3rd trip to the Library will be much easier.
    I find that when I want to draw and be creative I just can’t seem to do it. It’s when I am in meetings and should be paying attention that I am possessed by the creative gods.
    The muse is a strange and complex lady….

  2. the deal with a regular writing pattern is this:

    that strange and complex lady known as the muse has a shot at finding you and giving you a nugget of gold at her whim. if you are at the library mon-thurs (or whatever your schedule) then she doesn’t have to thwack you on the forehead in the middle of the night (cause she ALWAYS knows where to find you in the middle of the night).

    it also helps to offer her sparkly gifts and sugary snacks, fyi.

  3. Oh DJ Brodie your hilarious foibles! I could not agree with you more, most of all about moonpies. Silly, why would anyone think he could save a delicious moonpie for later?

    My favorite time for writing seems to be at work, at about 6:50 PM. People ask, “Why are you still here?” And I say, “I am working on my novel!” and they just laugh, and laugh.

  4. Thank you all for the feedback.

    Sparkles: It’s like you can take the first part off of Monday, Tuesday, etc. and just call it Day. Every day is just Day when you’re unemployed.

    Hedgehog: I’ve never heard it put that way, but it makes sense. Even if she shows up at the wrong time, you brain knows exactly how long it has to remember the flash of genius until the next session begins.

    Niketa: I hope you are laughing on the inside as they laugh on the outside. You’ll get the last word on this when your masterpiece goes public.

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